God knows. Everything that you are going through received approval from Him. He gave it permission to be, because He has faith in you. He knows that you know, that He will not leave nor forsake you.
These land may be dry, but the steps of the righteous are ordered by God!
I genuinely wonder how you can read this and think that you are ordinary. And I think that that is your problem. You try so much to give yoursef a name different from what God has called you, His own.